Tomorrow morning at 9am, I’ll press a button and launch Janapar to the world.
I do not expect a historical upheaval of society to take place when I do. Nevertheless, the moment will have enormous personal significance:
- I will finally be sharing this story in its completeness,
- It will draw a line beneath a process now more than six years long,
- It will represent the release of my very close friend James’ debut feature-length documentary (congratulations!),
- I will be able to put three hundred hours of raw footage to bed, content that they have served their purpose,
- I will be able to consider myself a self-employed creative person rather than a wanderer who occasionally programs websites,
- I will get to play at ‘post offices’ for a while,
- I will be able to go outside (finally),
- I will get to see my home country whilst travelling with the project,
- I will finally be allowed to stop thinking about myself and my bloody ‘story’ the whole time (by far the most exciting prospect).
But putting my head above the parapet like this is a double edged sword. I am particularly not looking forward to:
- Having my personal life up for public scrutiny,
- Discovering that you cannot please everyone,
- Discovering that those who cannot be pleased are liable to be quite vocal about it (this is already happening),
- Being mis-quoted and mis-represented in the press (this is already happening),
- Losing control over my time at the behest of others’ demands,
- Being forced to speak in front of audiences (cringe),
- Being destructively criticised about what I have said or done in the past,
- Realising that I have no time to plan my next trip.
I know it’s been a long wait. But when I click the button tomorrow morning, I will be hoping that the first list will far outweigh the second.
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